It is never quite what you imagined...

Its that time again. Time to write. As the title of this post suggests, change is in the air. Things never really turn out how you expect them to, do they? I finished my 2nd AmeriCorps year with City Year and have been looking forward to whatever comes next for months now. So what's next? Peace Corps, moving back to Chicago, going backpacking for a few months... nope. I accepted a staff position with City Year and will be staying with Care Force as a project manager. What does this mean? Well, nothing really. I'm going to be doing the same job I've done for the past 10 months, only with more paperwork, responsibility, and pay. Why? Because I'm chicken shit and just accept what's given to me, that's why.

I will enjoy the job. It lets me travel, the pay is decent (more than i've made in the past couple of years), and will get me back on my feet in several ways. I'll have a better apartment here in Boston, some money in the bank, a way to pay back my credit card and student loans, and time to grow up a bit. So what's the problem? I don't want to grow up! I know I want some stability, but I feel as though I'm selling out. I've accepted a job I don't really get behind. Yeah I can do it, and even rationalize why I'm doing it, but really, there are so many better ways to help people. I got sucked into a comfortable life. While I'll definitely have some challenges this year (mostly financial and managerial), its going to be another year to coast and just let parts of life pass me by. I'm sure I'll find a way to make the most of it though.

This past holiday (4th of July) I went hiking in New Hampshire up Mt. Chocora (I think that's how it is spelled). It is a bit over 3000 feet with several trails going up. The trail we took was 4.5 miles and was pretty spectacular from the top. I love being outdoors and in nature. It makes me wonder if I should become a park ranger or camp counselor. Maybe some day. What's my life if not filled with some sort of drama.

Past flings don't always work out so well. Sometimes girls just like girls better than me. Well that's not fair, really only one girl She was sort of seeing her before I came into the picture, so it is only natural that they should be together again after we broke up right? It is really okay. I was wondering how long it would take me to find a new girl. Sometimes I feel like Jerry Maguire in that I can never be alone. Why is it so easy for me to find girls that I connect with. But new things are awesome. I'm really having the best sex I've ever had! In fact, on the little hike up the mountain we had sex at the top. Really I was wearing only hiking boots and a condom at the summit. And then once again on the trail heading down. The sex is amazing and plentiful! Is it a rebound? I'm not so sure. Maybe at first, but its lasted longer than a rebound should. I'm just letting it be what it is.

I got to meet her family over the holiday and let me tell you, I can still exhaust 6 kids and be ready to party with the adults all night long. Its great being in my 20s and having the energy that I have. I went swimming in a lake, relaxed in a hot tub, had bbq, and just got lost in a large close family that seemed to like me. It was a really nice weekend.

Now its just time to settle into Boston and this job...